In recent times, a new buzz term has been coined: “inhibited sexual desire,” ISD. Various magazine articles warn women that ISD is on the increase. However, sexologists agree this is a philosophic concept, not a biologic one. If a man does not wish to make love, it does not necessarily signify inhibited desire.
One theory suggests that the roots of ISD lie in female emancipation. Some men now feel under real pressure to “perform”. The very word offends. Others feel uncomfortable with the general depreciation of the male role. Still others suffer from a type of female assertiveness which shows little understanding of, and less sympathy for, the complex nature of the erection process.
A man can feel coerced into unwanted intercourse. Due to the stereotype of men-as-strong, he finds it difficult to refuse a partner’s demands. But men are weak too. Like women, they desire to be popular. Like women, they can be altruistic; they do not want a partner to feel rejected. Men-as-weak is not a common perception of sex role expectation. It might help some women to be aware the phenomenon exists.
Divorce Is Difficult - You can take a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink
A new value can be quickly accepted. But it takes longer to reject older values passed down over the centuries. When today’s men make love, many still hold yesterday’s values. They feel adrift with the free-wheeling, money-earning, sex-demanding lifestyles of the women displayed in the glossy magazines.
Yet the average woman is still more reluctant to become sexually involved than a man. In an uncommitted relationship, she is still more at risk than he. Some methods of birth control carry risks to her health, as does pregnancy and childbirth. Due to her different anatomy, she is more likely to catch AIDS than pass it on. Her slighter build adds a further risk of violence and rape.
So perhaps it is natural the man is usually expected to take the sexual initiative. Most men delight in the role of the hunter, and why not? Yet what of the man who does not wish to hunt with today’s assertive woman? He can limit his search to partners who prefer yesterday’s values and courtship ways.
The human mind strives to be whole, to be in harmony with itself. When the conscious and unconscious are split, one part is likely to sulk. A man who perceives himself as superior and in control of women, yet seeks today’s uncommitted relationships, can suffer stress impotence. His values do not fit the reality. His unconscious recognizes this more quickly than he does.
Divorce is difficult! Decide which values fit, yesterday’s or today’s - perhaps a little of both - and act accordingly.
Tags: emancipation, inhibited sexual desire, ISD, potency, stress, stress impotency
